Monday, February 06, 2012

As the second half of the season got under way it was Helperby visiting Pierres Park and with a good forecast and a new dry deck Angry was hoping to win the toss and have a bat as the temperature started to rise. A right call from the visiting captain and strangely Blubbs were in to bat for the first half of the game.........More

Whirlwind Whacker Saves the Day

Torrential rain on Friday and a heavy shower on Saturday had the game in doubt as Blubbs travelled to Birstwith for this weeks fixture, after some consideration the umpires agreed a two thirty toss and a three o'clock start with thirty five over per side as Sherman and Heardie discussed barge trips around the countryside.........More

Ouseburn Overhaul

As the season reached the halfway point Angry found himself venturing across the countryside to take on table toppers Ouseburn for a tough match which Sherman was hoping would be rained off, and Crash Test Dummy wished Angry had never called him into the squad. Winning the toss Angry decided it might be best for Blubbs to field first and give Bubba time to shake off his whiplash, concussion, shock and sore finger after been thrown around Gazzas Gimp-mobile thirty minutes prior to arriving at the ground.........More

Wet Wicket Spoils Steam Rally Trip

Rain, rain and more rain meant the trip to Masham looked doubtful at nine o'clock on Saturday morning, by twelve Angry got the call from the hosts saying the game was off due to ducks swimming on the sqaure and Sherman looked forward to a day painting the bathroom..........More

Shermans Shack

Helperby Hold Up!

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It was they day Angry had been waiting for for the last six months, the start of the 2011 season and the start of a new era as Blubbs wobbled in the dizzy heights of division one for the first time ever in their history. Helperby was the destination for the first game of the season and Sheriff Angry rounded up his posse to make the journey across the county with promises of a fiery encounter to get the season under-way.

A wrong call from the Sheriff and Blubbs were stuck into bat on a hot sticky afternoon and Angry was struggling to decide who was going out to open and get the season underway and with three new regulators in the side it wasn't going to be an easy equation to solve. As the Helperby pavilion clock struck one it was Winton and new recruit Jake "Hasselhoff" Agar making their way out to the middle to commence proceedings for the day.

It was Winton who took the number one slot and quickly reached double figures, despatching Marsden for three boundaries in as many balls as Blubbs rolled on to twelve from the first over.

Debutant Hasselhoff got his first action under Angry's wing as over number two got under way, two wafts outside off stump had the hosts baying for timber, it was third time lucky for the Helperby overseas, Hasselhoff glancing his third delivery to the keeper and Blubbs were twelve for one.

Bubba took to the middle at three and was hoping to make this years top scorer for the club a closer one than last year but the Helperby attack were definitely up for a fight bowling a tight line at the Blubberhouses number three as he too found difficulty putting bat on ball.

Seventeen on the board and more woes for Angry as Winton drilled one straight down the throat of long on and the hosts went wild knowing the tanned dangerman was on his way for for a meagre score as the second new recruit "Bertie" Bash"it" made the journey to the centre.

The Blubbs number three and four started to rebuild the innings as the worried Sheriff donned his chaps and six shooter, the score quickly passed the fifty mark before Cavanagh was quickly brought into the attack, skittling Bash for fourteen and at fifty one for three Blubbs didn't look like lasting the full forty five overs for the batting point.

Plattsey joined Bubba in the middle and Angry was hoping the "pipe wizard" could deliver a few more runs than last year and give Blubbs a fighting chance for the second half, with seventy nine on the board Angry's temper started to fray as Bubba took a wild swipe at Cavanagh and the timbers took another rattling and Helperby were almost into the Blubberhouses tail.

Mario began taking the attack to the Helperby bowlers, playing shots round ?the ground before one swipe too many and Uncle Ernie had his head in his hands as Mario fell to 'predator' and houses were struggling on one fifteen for five with still plenty over over left to play.

Bungle wandered out to try stabilise the innings, and looked set to do so, immediately chipping Darnell through midwicket for four. Angry and Bungle used up some of the overs and Blubbs were on the way to making a competitive total, but Bungle edged to the keeper for nine and Blubbs were crumbling on one forty five for six.

Chef Vassey joined Angry in the middle as the battle to survive the overs continued, a mere nine more were added before Angry lost off stump to Corner and as he stormed off the field the steam bellowing from his ears Sherman,?panic-stricken, dived for cover in the safety of his kit bag, one fifty five for seven with six overs to play.

The third new recruit Dawood "Whacker" Waqas joined Vassey in the middle as Blubbs desperately tried to hang out for their first point from the season, the chef tried to cook up some runs for Winton to bowl at but with one seventy six on the board a low full toss?found?the batting bakers magnetic pads and Vassey was on his way back to the hut for sixteen as his season started where the last one finished, one seventy six for eight and Sherman was on his way out to the middle with strict instructions not to get out.

A few swipes and misses from the rusty un-netted number ten and some straight hitting from Whacker put another nine runs on the board and Helperby were looking at a modest one eighty six for victory.

After the break Winton opened up the Blubberhouses attack with Whacker and the Helperby openers made a steady start with the run chase scoring mainly through backward point. As the score ticked along the Helperby openers started to gain confidence wildy flashing at anything wide of the stumps and Angry was struggling to work out what to do next as Helperby closed in on the first fifty of the required total.

Winton finally got the break through skittling Cavanagh for twenty seven but the runs continued to leak and the homeside edged ever closer to victory.

Angry turned to Hasselhoff to take over from a now weary Winton but the Helperby two and three continued to pick off the runs, Plattsey took over at the Pavilion End from Whacker as Angry tried to take the pace off the ball, Corner passed fifty and with less than eighty required Helperby looked firm favourites to take the win from here on in.

Sherman got the nod from Angry just before the drinks came out, Winton wasn't happy, Sherman was re-assigned to fine leg as play re-convened and it was Winton with the ball in his hand running in from the Pavilion End.

Whacker was brought back on at the top end to replace Hasselhoff but still no breakthrough came and Helperby were?within?touching distance of the winning post, with only forty four more needed for victory Winton finally removed Corner for eighty two but the damage was done.

With two needed for victory Whacker finally picked up his first scalp for the season removing Spillman for thirty nine and with Winton having bowled out Bubba wound up for a spell which was short lived when Orton clattered the wannabe Winton for four and it was game over and Angry's season in the top flight had not got off to the best of starts.

Points: Helperby 5, Blubberhouses 1

Fielding Points: Fester, Bubba

Fact of the day: If at first you don't get a bowl.........jack it in and take up shopping!

Angry's word of wisdom (to Fester): "Stop p***ing about playing kwik cricket and get your f***ing pads on!"