Pateley Bridge Away

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Week seven of the season and Stonewall marched his men to the top of Pateley High Street and he marched them down again, to the showground that is. Blubb’s welcomed back Lightie to the squad after he’d been discovered in an old Ratners packing case bound for Taiwan.

Pateley won the toss and decided it was too hot to field and Stonewall looked like he needed to sweat a few pounds off so decided to bat.

It was the usual opening attack with Mad Frankie and Titchie commencing the days play, the home side made a solid start looking for their first point of the season. The score raced on to thirty two and the openers were looking in good nick when Tichie slung down a wayward delivery which cut back off the tree at square leg and hit Light on the elbow, the shout went up and after a dramatic ten minutes the umpire decided it might have hit the stumps after rebounding off Hebb's pads and Pateley were thirty two for one. A disgruntled opener trudged off complaining about the decision but was reassured by Stonewall that “it’s out in the book”.

Twenty four more runs had been added when Mad Frankie snapped up the prize wicket of Chad for twenty seven who flashed at one outside the off stump nicking it straight into the ever safe hands of Craigie at first slip.

Splinter came into the attack after drinks replacing Frankie and cleaned up Light jnr for sixteen and Newby for nought not many balls later.

Sherman was brought on and despite some tight bowling had no luck, the only glimmer of a wicket came from an air-to-air missile launched at Simpson which was superbly caught by Dicko then superbly called “No Ball” by the umpire.

A couple of over's later and Splinter took a blistering caught and bowled to remove dangerman Simpson.

Craigie snatched another catch at long on and Pateley were on the rack at one eleven for six and still fifteen over to see out for the point.

Lightie replaced Sherman after only four over's. But Pateley desperate for at least one point holed up in the trenches and not even the glint from Lighties bling was putting them off today.

Tight fielding by most of the team kept the runs to a minimum, most being all except for Stonewall who stood around like a plastic fielder from the old “Test Mach” game waiting for the ball to get stuck in the plastic barrier between his legs.

Stonewall decided he was getting in on the act and was out to bag some ferrets replacing Lightie at the football end, straight away Thompson edged one to Hebb sending him back to the hut and an over later he claimed his second scalp cleaning up Dent and Pateley were one forty one for eight.

A defiant Pateley hung on for dear life and despite Sherman's return barrage knocking over Neale for one the home side held out for their first precious point of the season leaving Blubbs needing one fifty two for victory.

Stonewall and Dicko had the task of opening up the Blubberhouse’s innings with Angry Davis still away in the land of frog’s legs and snails. The run chase began in flamboyant style with most of the thirty one runs coming in boundaries before Stonewall was cleaned up by Dent for eighteen.

Dicko had a brief partnership with Craigie before he too lost his stumps to Thompson for an unlucky for some thirteen.

College Boy had an even briefer partnership being adjudged leg before the very next ball and Blubbs were a worrying thirty one for three and even more worrying was Wilkie was in next.

Wilkie went out with only one intention on his mind, the party started at eight o’clock and he was going to be there first, outscoring Craigie who seemed to be struggling to score runs this week. Craigie took Wilkies lead and an impressive partnership of ninety six followed, the rest of the team were starting to wager on which would reach their half century first when Craigie became Dents second victim of the day when he was given leg before.

Wilkie was joined by Titchie who was up the order at six this week but another quick wicket saw the finger go up to Wilkie and  another LBW for Blubbs, seemed like Wilkie wasn’t the only one in a hurry to get away this week.

Splinter came and went for one being given leg before, caught behind and stumped all in one delivery and Blubbs were shaking again at one twenty eight for six.

Mad Frankie calmly took to the arena and was out to finish this game and finish it quick, a full toss outside the off stump and Frankie threw the kitchen sink at it, smashing it over cover for six straight into Clippies windscreen. Clippie who had been in the land of nod at the time jumped up with start and donned his gas mask and tin hat thinking the third Reich had stormed Pateley show ground.

Another couple of mammoth hits later and it was all over, Mad Frankie and Tichie saw Blubbs past the one fifty two target and five more point in the bag for Dalby’s merry men.

The Royal Oak was the destination after the game for a beer, Mad Frankie had seen to it that Harefield Hall was out of the question,  Lightie even said he was up for a jar after the victory but as mysteriously as he’d appeared he disappeared.

Points Awarded Pateley Bridge:1 Blubberhouses:5

Fielding Points: Neil Dickinson, Tim Hendry

Fact of the day: Mr Benn lives in London at 52 Festive Road, which was inspired by Festing Road in Putney where David McKee used to live. Many posters and t-shirts have been made with the image of the shopkeeper or Mr Benn, on bearing the famous phrase: "As if by magic, the Shopkeeper appeared...".  The idea of the shopkeeper came from Lighties weekend antics at Blubberhouses.

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