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The wheels on the bus were definitely going round in week three of the season as the 1st XI entertained Helperby at the Blubberhouses oval in a match hailed by Don King as a modern day “Rumble in the Jungle”. Captain Dalby went out to the centre to see who would be fighting in the red corner and who would be in the blue, losing the toss for the first time this year Blubbs were given the honour of batting.

With no Wilkie in the squad opening position went to Tim “Splinter“ Hendry who was accompanied by regular opener Bill Davis, as they boldly walked out to get the first half underway, you could almost hear Survivor singing Eye of the Tiger in the distance. 

As Bill took his guard there was silence around the ground, well silent except for Popeye chelping away behind the sticks like a washer woman on speed.

The score had only reached thirty six when splinter swished at a straight one and was given out leg before; Craigie stepped up to the oche next bringing together the two Blubbs run machines. It wasn’t long before Davis and Craigie pushed the accelerator and by drinks the score had raced on to one hundred and thirty for one with the home side looking to reach a mighty three hundred plus total. 

After drinks the onslaught continued and Davis quickly reached his first ton of the season, Craigie reaching his half century soon after, three hundred was looking an easy target now.

Craigie was looking good for his second century of the season and second of the day but fell foul to the second  leg before decision of the day when Einstein decided E=mc2 and the finger went up.

Chris Lowe filled the number four spot in the order and continued the good work Craigie had started but still played second fiddle to Davis whose wagon wheel was starting to look like a seventy five spoke alloy.

Davis had notched up an impressive one hundred and forty four before mis-judging an in-swinger from Cavanagh which clipped off stump leaving him six short of his third half century of the day, Helperby celebrations were less than ecstatic and Popeye’s head was well and truly stuck in his spinach can.

The loss of Davis brought in Neil “Oliver Kahn” Dickinson to the wicket, playing his first game of the season now he has “nowt better to do with his weekends!”  The run rate steadied slightly but Blubbs reached two hundred and ninety before Dicko scythed one up in the air and was caught for fourteen.

Mad Frankie replaced Dicko and saw the innings through reaching sixteen along with Alan Titchmarsh wannabe Chris Lowe’s impressive cameo forty five leaving Helperby a massive run chase of three hundred and thirty three to win.

After an impressive spread at the tea interval Blubbs resumed the game confidently with a large bag of runs to play with opening up with Mad Frankie and Chris Lowe, things didn’t go to plan though when Tichie opened up an old strimmer wound and had to come off leaving captain Dalby to take his place sending down his military medium only three over’s into the game. 

It wasn’t long before Mad Frankie trapped Cavanagh bat before wicket for none leaving a worried Helperby five for one.

Only one run was added before the finger went up again and Mad Frankie had his second victim of the day when Milton was given leg before for the second duck of the innings.

Two over’s later and Nolan skied one back over Frankies head to what should have been a bread and butter catch for Sherman fielding at mid-off. Unfortunately Sherman lined himself up for the catch using an old pirate’s map, ten paces east from the screen, three paces west and six paces north, finally tripping backwards over the invisible chest of doubloons in no-man’s land and landing like an upturned dung beetle which had fallen from a brontosaurus’s turd. Mad Frankie couldn’t hold back his anger and launched the next delivery down legside which Nolan promptly despatched to the boundary for four to Frankies cry of “for f**k’s sake”, the slips were in tatters.

Spilman and Nolan then looked like building a partnership, Dalby decided it was time for a change and Splinter came into the attack from the pavilion end. The partnership had reached sixty four when Nolan tried to cow Dalby over the legside but only succeeded in finding Lightie who swooped down like a bird of prey clutching onto the ball inches from the boundary edge leaving Helperby in trouble at seventy for three.

Blubberhouses favourite Clive Swires was next in and he knew there was a lot of work to be done just to secure the batting point but only fourteen runs had been added when he played a simple catch back to Dalby and was caught and bowled for not many. Not happy he refused to walk and it was left to umpire Doc Brown to send him “Back to the Pavillion” into the comforting arms of Olive, ninety four for four.

Spilman was the anchorman of the innings hitting the second hundred of the day after Dicko in true Oliver Kahn form decided rather than catch him out he would save the ball and push it round the umpire for a corner. A partnership of seventy seven with Hardy finally ended when Craigie rattled the stumps leaving the visitors one ninety for six and still forty runs short of a point.

Sherman finally got a shell on target dismissing Tuley for one but Spilman defiantly batted on securing the point before Craigie hit the target once again bowling him for one hundred and ten. Sowray and Darnell saw out the remaining over’s with Helperby finishing on what would normally be a match winning two hundred and sixty three for seven but.........not today.

Another five points for Dalby’s Barmy Army and another case for Mulder and Scully, has Mad Frankie been abducted by aliens?

Points Awarded Blubberhouses: 5 Helperby: 1

Fielding Points: Stu Light and Tim Hendry

Fact of the day: Some dung beetles are known as rollers noted for rolling along with balls of dung. Other dung beetles are known as tunnellers, digging themselves into the dung wherever they find it. A third group, the dwellers neither roll nor burrow: they are simply in the dung. This week Sherman fell into all three categories.

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