Bolton Abbey Away

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Bolton Abbey away was order of the day for Stonewalls merry men this week and it had been a difficult week for the depressed captain trying to keep his other ten captains in order after a dismal defeat at the hands of the same team earlier in the week.

Mad Frankie and Sherman decided to get to the ground via the scenic route stopping to ask Michael Palin for directions at Aberdeen and eventually arriving at the ground twenty minutes before the start .

Stonewall won the toss and stuck Abbey in to bat on a day which promised sunny intervals with showers and possibly some snow or sleet and gusts and hail later.

Blubbs took to the field at two o’clock with only nine players, Lightie called earlier to say he’d be late waiting for a delivery from H. Samuels and Tichie was test driving Tom Tom Go for Gardeners which sent him on a tour of the Britain in Bloom semi-finalists in North Yorkshire.

It was Mad Frankie accompanied by Sherman opening the bowling attack this week with the MIA Tichie still nowhere to be seen, the Bolton openers made a steady but positive start and the nine men Blubbs were wondering if the they were destined to be two short for the rest of the day.

Six over’s passed and finally Lightie turned up clutching his delivery note in one hand and his kit in the other, shortly afterwards Tichie arrived and the team was complete.
The scored ticked on to thirty eight when finally Sherman got the turret straight and fired a barrage down which Midgley failed to block and was bowled for twenty seven and Bolton were thirty eight for one.

Two over’s and three runs later Sherman struck again trapping Mayo LBW for two and Bolton were forty one for two. Mad Frankie was on top form and seaming the ball all over the place but still no reward came his way in the form of wickets.

The tank tracks were spinning round this week and as the score clocked up to fifty four Sherman clocked up wicket number three when Tiffany got a grasscutter from the shining barrel which slid under his bat and the stumps went again, Bolton looked worried.

Mad Frankie and Sherman finished their stints after eleven over’s apiece and were replaced by Tichie and Splinter, Tichie did little for Mad Frankie’s tattered morale as he slung down two full tosses a beamer then claimed a wicket from a half tracker as Parkinson (I) chopped one onto the stumps and the home team were seventy nine for four.

One run was added and the Tichie struck again with a peach of a delivery which swung, seamed and swung some more, Coward left the delivery underestimating the power of the Wonder Weeder and the stumps took another battering  and Bolton were five down.

Wicket number six fell five runs later and Tichie claimed his third when Parkinson (D) was given Leg Before to skidding low delivery which would have knocked down all three (according to Hawkeye that is).

Splinter joined the wicket takers one run later when Hebb took a blinding catch behind the sticks and Blubbs were looking to chase down less than one hundred runs, Hodgson had other ideas.

A second scalp for Splinter came when Lord tried to cow a straight delivery out of the park missing it and the stumps went down again, ninety four for eight.
Hodgson was defiant and determined not to get out as the score crept over the hundred mark, and Blubbs looked like losing the bowling point again.

Lightie came on at the top end to replace Tichie and to Mad Frankie’s dismay claimed a wicket straight away bowling Blackburn neck and crop for twelve and Abbey were one hundred and fourteen for nine.

Hodgson continued to pile on the runs knowing each one was getting Craigie more and more annoyed especially as he’d not been called up to turn his arm over.

Stonewall replaced Splinter and Tichie replaced Lightie but still no sign of the elusive tenth wicket, finally in the forty second over Stonewall brought out the custard tart, smothered with clotted cream which no man can resist. The cholesterol delivery did the trick catching Hodgson off guard and rattling the stumps, Bolton Abbey all out for one hundred and forty eight.

Stonewall and Mr Angry started the Blubbs run chase after the tea interval and it wasn’t long before Mr Angry let loose with the willow, ripping into the Bolton bowling attack like Freddy Kruger on a busy night out in Elm Street.

Stonewall patiently held up the other end and held up the scoring, Mr Angry reaching another half century with the score on only sixty, run continued to flow and Blubbs looked odds on to take all six this week.

The partnership reached one hundred and three when Stonewall valiant innings came to an end missing a “porkpie” from Midgley which bowled him for twenty four in the twenty fifth over.

Craigie joined Mr Angry but the partnership added a mere nine before Mr Angry became Midgleys second victim of the day when he top edged a legside delivery straight to short backward square leg ending a magnificent innings of eighty.

Wilkie decided he wanted to play this week and replaced Mr Angry, it was probably a decision Wilkie regretted when after not many deliveries he received a snorter from Coward which flicked his glove leaving a simple catch for the keeper and Wilkie racing away with the duck cup.

Arnie Dickinson replaced Wilkie and nervously took to the crease; runs seemed few and far between for the next six overs, the odd boundary from Craigie relieving the pressure.  It took until the forty third over before a relieved Arnie watched on as his batting partner Craigie whipped Parkinson over square leg for four and Blubbs had a well deserved six points in the bag.

Points Awarded Bolton Abbey:0 Blubberhouses:6

Fielding Points: G.Hebblethwaite (2).

Fact of the day: In the famous words of Apollo 13 commander Jim Lovell, "Houston, we have a problem." Lovell's actual words were "Houston, *we've had* a problem." In the famous words of Tichie on his way to Bolton "I know where we are." Tichie's actual words were "S**t, I think we're lost."

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